Thwarting Love
by spiritusancti
Summary: One-Shot. When Edward leaves Bella, he doesn't immediately go away, he lingers in the forest, watching, making sure she'll be safe. What does he see? What does he feel? Edward's point of view. Read & Review!
1. Thwarting Love

**Thwarting Love**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Twilight" series characters – they are the creation of Stephenie Meyer. Some of the words used have been borrowed from Ms. Meyer from "New Moon".

This is a one-shot from_Edward's_ point of view.

I'm looking forward to what you think. Enjoy!

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_Be safe. Be safe. Be safe._

If I had a heart enclosed in my vacant, frozen chest it would be throbbing these two words right now. I am the reason why she can never be safe. I am the only thing standing in the way of her warmth; her gift to radiate light to others in a customary existence. With my numbing corpse I absorb any light and warmth she has to offer. Jesus, I am capable of sucking her dry in more ways than one.

I am staring at her. It feels inappropriate. I will abuse her further if I remain any longer. This must end. I need to get out of here.

She looks broken. Don't. Don't touch her.

I want to reach out and hold her small form to mine. Sooth her fears with my voice; her lullaby. Be the last thing she sees before sleep; kiss her eyelids while she dreams.

I'm not breathing. A tear slipped down her cheek. I can feel her floral scent grow stronger. Just inhale once more – one last time.

No. Don't flinch. She'd catch that.

So perceptive.

Why can't she see through this?

That scares me. Say your last now – rip the band-aid off:

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again". But you darling, you will stay in my thoughts for eternity.

That flash of realization hit my angel's eyes,

"Alice isn't coming back". She'd barely breathed the words, but I heard. I shook my head, no. Alice loves you too, my Bella. She put up quite a fight last night when she'd finally seen my decision. It had taken Emmett to hold her back while Jasper was trying his best to send her into a coma. I had drifted into a trance days earlier. My family left last night; no words were spoken, they were shunning me with every thought – and that was worse.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." Memorize her face. This is the last time you'll see her unworldly beauty.

"Alice is gone?" God, she sounded like a lost child. I can feel my stone stature starting to crumble. End this quick.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." Break her heart you monster. I'm disgusting.

Bella's breathing is slowing. She's trembling. Please, do not pass out on me. If I have to catch you, nothing will pry my hands away from your skin. Breathe. Please.

This is it. The end.

"Goodbye, Bella". Horrible words. I need to gather my thoughts before I can expect to run anywhere. I inaudibly let out the breath I'd been holding since she first allowed tears to slip freely down her flushed cheeks. Close your eyes. Leave now.

"Wait!"

I hear Bella choke out a last plea to me. I open my eyes. I see her arms out stretched, reaching for me.

I can't do this.

Help.

I wrap my hands around her wrists; put her arms to her sides. Her eyes looked hopeful for a split second. Then she closed them, realizing I was not returning her embrace.

I'm so close to her. I could just….No. Stop.

Hesitating, I press my lips to her forehead; feeling her warmth once more. I just want her to be safe.

"Take care of yourself." I breathe the words onto her skin, willing her to obey.

Her scent is intoxicating, her heat comforting, I feel her heartbeat against my lips…1…2…3…. I love you, I love you, I love you…

NOW.

In a flash I was running.

Away, anywhere; before I scream for mercy.

STOP.

As fast as I had left, I stop. Am I doing this? Am I really doing this?

I just have to make sure it's real. That this happened.

I cannot just run away from it. Being the masochist I am, I want to sneak back and see where she goes from here; how much I destroyed her. I want evidence.

I follow my trail back…but I hear footsteps approaching.

Then her scent hit me.

She's following me?

I slowly back up, making sure she doesn't get near. I'm not strong enough to say goodbye twice.

Then she came into my view.

Her eyes are wide, terrified, abandoned, determined. She wants evidence too.

She's not paying attention to where she's going. She'll get lost.

She tripped.

Pieces are breaking off of me every time she stumbles and I'm not there to keep her up. I can feel my entire body tense, my jaw is dropped; I am simultaneously witnessing and feeling destruction. No matter where I go when I cease to be, this is worse than any hell.

Finally, Bella trips again, and this time stays down. I hear my jaw snap shut. Is she alright? She rolls over onto her side and curls up. I know I cannot hear her thoughts, but I am desperately trying anyway. I feel my knees sink to the ground as I lay down on the wet forest floor too, keeping both eyes on her shivering form.

Her body and the world it seemed stayed still and lifeless for quite sometime before I heard her name being called.

I had been worried that no one would come for her.

Why? I was not the only one to care for her. I made sure I could hear the thoughts of whomever it was that was looking for her.

_Where on earth is she? It's starting to rain._

_Sam? Do you smell that?_

_Wait! I think she's over there._

As soon as I established that there were three voices nearby, the smell pushed me back. Werewolves.

_Vampire._

I sprang into a crouch, ready. I know that one of them picked up on my scent somewhere. I need to leave. I just want to make sure Bella is safe. I will not leave her alone.

The smell was getting stronger, they are coming nearer. I can hear more than three pairs of legs stomping the forest floor; they are in their wolf forms.

_I see something._

I stopped breathing. My eyes are on Bella. Where is this dog? I hear a faint whoosh, then I see a dim glow illuminating the rain drops, slowly lighting the path to where I am crouched.

I silently drop behind a tree.

_Here she is._

I look around the tree trunk to see a tall muscular man, shirtless looking down at my Bella.

"Bella." He is trying to call her to consciousness. He's a werewolf. What if he loses control and hurts her? I step around the tree, ready to run forward at the slightest quiver of his form.

"He's gone". My angel's voice softly floats through the rain to my ears. My stance crumbles. I remember what I did, why I'm standing here, not there, I turn away from my everything………….

………..and I run.


	2. Reinventing Existence

**Thwarting Love**

**Chapter Two: Reinventing Existence **

Disclaimer: I don't own "Twilight", Stephenie Meyer does!

This story is in _Edward's_ point of view.

This is a continuation of "Thwarting Love" that was intended as a one-shot, but thanks to reviews and the suggestion from EdwardsXxXSinger, I've decided to keep it going! I hope you'll stay along for the ride!

New chapters coming soon!

Tell me where I should go from here? What would you like to see?

From last time:

"_He's gone". My angel's voice softly floats through the rain to my ears. My stance crumbles. I remember what I did, why I'm standing here, not there, I turn away from my everything…………_

………_..and I run._

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How long have I been here? When did I stop running? Everything seems so quiet. That unusual assessment gets my attention.

I quickly stand up from where I had been laying down and take in my surroundings.

The meadow. How ironic.

Why did my subconscious take me here? Of all places.

It was dreary out; a completely different picture painted from the one I was used to. The air stood still around me, the silence was deafening, never-ending. The trees enclosing this secret place stood still, omnipotent. The meadow of soft grass and whispering streams had put on a mask of confinement; a prison.

Lingering in the air was a ribbon of freesia, a presence that no amount of dark clouds could push away. I could still feel her.

I clutched my chest, staggered back. Memories swirled around me like thick fog.

The day I took her here, she had been incredulous to the idea of walking the five miles. I led most of the way there. I could hear her breathing, leaves and twigs cracking under her feet; she'd only stumbled a couple times. Like last evening, in the forest, when she fell repeatedly looking eagerly for me – standing like the coward I am a few yards away.

I could go back; see if she's alright. My breathing sped up as I thought of the idea.

STOP.

No. Never going back. _As if I never existed._

I had already plunged the dagger in both of us, why painfully slide it out just to twist it in harder?

I need to prepare to leave. I'll go back home, get some things and disappear. What time is it? I look up to the sky – no sun there to give me a hint.

She saw me in the sun for the first time here.

I remember being scared. Like taking off clothing in front of a lover for the first time. As soon as I'd stepped into the sun, her eyes had never left me. I had been lying down, and when she asked me what I was saying softly, I told her I was singing to myself. The truth was, I had had an epiphany as soon as I had stepped into the sunlight that day: I realized I loved Bella, that I would die for her, and that I wanted to hold her until the Armageddon. I was saying it over and over; my personal mantra. I had never told her that. It's something she'll never know.

She had been awed by my sparkling skin. My skin, once covered in millions of diamonds and prisms of light, now felt suffocated in bacteria and grime.

My skin. She touched me for the first time here. Not an ordinary touch. It was gorgeous; full of love, anticipation, lust, curiosity, and a bit of hesitation – like she could hurt me with a touch. She could never. I had shattered her. Like the glass slipper in Cinderella. Shattered. I don't have the other slipper – she was _the only one_. I had shattered my happily ever after. Shattered.

Life, love, meaning …….over.

It really is now or never. I'm leaving forever – run, go now and never look back.

I turned from the stage where our first confessions played out, take my final bow from a life I'm forfeiting, and let the curtain fall on an existence that will never be revived.


End file.
